5 Things NOT to Say to a Stay-At-Home Mom


There is one thing of which I am very sure – not everyone is cut out to be a stay-at-home Mom.  I wholeheartedly laugh at the people who think that we SAHMs (stay-at-home Moms) are lazy, freeloading, or selfish.  Clearly, you have no idea what we do all day.

I’m not here to get into all of the things I do in a day.  If you’re a fellow (or former) SAHM, I know you hear me!  The following is a list of phrases that I never want to hear again.

1)  “It must be nice to have so much free time.”  Oh it sure is!  With the skydiving lessons and pool parties, I find it so hard to work on my latest book.  Are you kidding me?!  Free time??  There are days when I wonder how I will find time to get the dishes done, let alone find any free time.  Being a SAHM isn’t about me wanting to be on a permanent vacation…because it’s not like that at all.  Working parents pay babysitters/daycare workers to care for their children.  Would they be paying good money if these caregivers were sitting on their butts all day long watching TV?  No!  They pay good money so that someone can care for their children for the day.  Caring for children is a JOB.  People get paid money for it.  As a SAHM, the only difference is that I don’t get paid.

2)  “What a shame to let your education/career go to waste.”  I didn’t toss my career out the door, it’s simply on hold for a while.  Right now, staying at home with my children is much more important to me.  Jobs and schools will ALWAYS be there.  In ten years, they will be there.  In 20 years, they will be there.  In 50 years, they will be there.  My kids will only be young once in their lives.  Once.  It will never, ever happen again.  I want to savour every single moment that I can and be there for them.  When they are grown and no longer need me to care for them, I will return to my career.

3)  “I wouldn’t be able to stay at home.  I’d die without adult conversation.”  I find that rather offensive.  You’re saying that I can get along without adult conversation?  Of course I crave the company of other adults!  It’s not hard to find that company through other SAHMs, friends, family and so on.

4)  “Your husband must be making a ton of money”  I’m sorry, but when did my family’s financial situation become your business?  Please don’t assume that just because I stay at home that we are rich.  The same is for the opposite.  Please don’t assume that we are struggling either.  It’s best to avoid statements like this all together.

5)  “Let’s ask the SAHMs to volunteer for (insert function here) since they don’t work”  Again with the “not working” thing?!  It really surprises me that many organized groups/clubs will say things like this.  Just because I stay at home with my kids, it doesn’t mean I have time to bake endless trays of cookies for your bake sale.  I volunteer at my Son’s school when I’m able to and they appreciate the time I am able to donate.  They know and understand that I have two children and can’t always commit to doing things.  Why can’t more people be like this?

The list could go on and on, but these are my top five pet peeve phrases.  What about you guys?  What things do you wish people would stop saying/asking to SAHMs?



  1. I’m with you on #2!! I was accepted to a university an hour from our hometown when my husband and I found out we were pregnant. We knew our plan was for me to stay home and raise our children so I withdrew. I can’t tell you how many times I was TOLD how I was throwing an opportunity away when I felt I was gaining so much more with the arrival of our first child.

    I would say the thing I hate hearing most is “What do you DO all day?” I have the divine pleasure of watching my child learn and grow each and every day. I help him grow into the person he will become. Today I helped him learn to walk. What have you done today?

    Check out my blog at http://anotherdayinmommadise.wordpress.com

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