Did anyone ever tell you “make sure to read the fine print before signing that”? Yeah, that’s sort of what parenting is like, except the “fine print” isn’t listed anywhere.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I thought that I knew a lot about what it took to raise children. I had friends with kids and I was also a proud Auntie of two. Despite that, I read the books and interacted on pregnancy websites learning all that I could so that I would be prepared. After my Son was born, slowly but surely, I began to discover the aspects of parenting which were unwritten…things that your friends don’t tell you in fear of scaring the crap out of you!
The biggest change in my life was the addition of worry. Holy moly b’ys…the worry!! The reality hit me the second time I was feeding my Son. I looked at him and realized the huge responsibility which had been placed on my shoulders – I was responsible for a life. A life which was not my own. This tiny, precious being was completely dependant on me (and his Daddy too of course). It was up to us to keep him alive, to help him grow, to help him discover who he is meant to be in life. Do you realize how HUGE that is? I would check on him constantly at night to make sure he was still breathing, obsess over how much he was eating and was totally strict on his sleeping schedule. Not only was I worried about my Son, I suddenly became fully aware of my own mortality as well as my Husband’s. Yes, I’ve always known that life is fragile and it doesn’t last forever but now I feared death. The thought of not being around to watch my child grow up caused great anxiety as well as the thought of losing my Husband and having to raise our Son alone. Five and a half years have passed since my Son was born and I have learned to deal with my worries, however there are still times when I find it hard to cope.
Don’t worry, my next paragraph isn’t as “deep”! Do you guys remember what it’s like to use the bathroom alone? No? Me Neither! Ahhh the good old days…the days when one could walk into the bathroom alone and do their business without interruptions. I have yet to figure out what is so interesting about me going to the bathroom. No matter what I try – books, games, coloring, even T.V. – the moment they realize that I’m in the bathroom, they’re right in there with me. It’s not just quiet speculation either! “Are you going poopie Momma? Poopie stinky! Can I see the poopie! Good poopie Mommy, good job!” I guess I just have to see the bright side – at least I get praise? LOL!
Trust me, I could write a book about all of the things that you experience as a parents which nobody warns you about. Not all of these experiences are doom and gloom, some are funny and some are even eye-opening. No matter what, it’s all worth it in the end. My children are blessings and I will do anything for them.